I Can't Understand
by SmileLikeLightning
Summary: Sixteen year old Kasumi and Shikamaru have hated each other ever since they met. So then why does Shikamaru seem to care so much for Kasumi? How will this love/hate relationship turn out? *ONE SHOT*


I Can't Understand

"And… I'm off!" You announce to yourself. Your father was sent on a long mission away, and honestly, you didn't mind.

Your father never cared for you. Ever since you were born as a girl, every look pointed at you was in disappointment. He was like a weight on your shoulders every time you saw him, something that would only be a burden and make you mess up.

"Whatever!" You think, "That means I'm a little free for now!" You stretch a little bit, then dash out the door. You love the feeling of the air rushing past your face; it makes you feel free like a bird. You punch your fist in the air and shout, "Wahoo!"

Surprisingly, you feel something come in contact with your fist. You touch your hand and wonder, "Huh that felt warm…"

"Ow…" a familiar voice groans.

"Ah! I'm so sorry!" you say worriedly, "I should get you some band-aids right?"

As you babble, the person you hit just stands up.

"I'm fine… I can take a punch you know, Kasumi."

You stop and take a good look at who it is. You shock into standing up straight when you realize who you hit. "S-Shikamaru?"

He dusts himself off and strikes a nonchalant pose. "Why are you so energetic today, idiot?"

You stomp your foot, kicking up a little dust cloud. Hiding your embarrassment, you shout, "D-don't say my name so familiarly! And don't call me idiot either!"

You can almost swear that he rolls his eyes, which pisses you off, but he hides it well so that you feel like you should correct yourself. "You're such a troublesome woman…" he mumbles, "well what are you doing anyway?"

You swish your hair to the side, too irritated to look at Shikamaru anymore. "Nothing you need to know." You're pleased with the anger mark that you've induced on his forehead.

He throws his hands behind his head and glares at the sky, eyes closed. "Fine, be that way. I was just concerned about you, that's all."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," you growl. With a delayed reaction, you realize that he just said he was worried about you. You blush and turn suddenly towards him. "Y-you were worried about me?"

Try as he might, but he can't hide his blush. He diverts his gaze from you to a bird in the distance. "Y-yeah, I was worried. Is it so bad to be concerned over a friend?"

You try to stifle your laugh, only irritating Shikamaru more.

"What's so funny?" He says tersely.

You curl your pale blonde hair behind your ear, and while giving him a look of amusement and confusion you say, "You think we're friends? You haven't noticed that we hated each other from the day we met?"

.:Shikamaru's POV:.

You couldn't help but be a little hurt when Kasumi laughed at your comment. Yeah you didn't like each other, but you couldn't make peace now?

Anger boils up and flushes your cheeks even more. "Fine, if you're going to have that kind of attitude, don't bother talking to me!" Surprised by your actions, you just storm off and don't look back.

Lucky for you, her expression had no hurt, just utter shock and amazement.

.:Your POV:.

"Wow," you think with a smirk, "who spit in his bean curd?" You sigh, shoving your hands in your pockets. You kick at the ground, soaking in the strange event that you just experienced. You stroll through the streets of Konoha, staring at the sky. "That was really strange. He's never acted that way before…"

A sharp but pleasant voice cuts through your thoughts like butter, "Hey, Kasumi!"

You loll your head downwards and grin brightly at the electric-haired ninja wearing black and orange. You liked this outfit better than his old one, it looked much cooler. "Yo, Naruto! Getting fat from all that ramen yet?"

He growls at you with fake malice. "Hey, don't make fun of my ramen! It's good!" Naruto trots over to you, buzzing with energy.

"Ah, Naruto. The only guy in the universe who could possibly have more energy than me," you think. You rest on your left leg, twitching your head to the right to get some of your hair out of your face. "How goes it, Naruto?"

Naruto throws his arms behind his head and chuckles. "Pretty good. I'm getting stronger and stronger every day." He emphasizes this fact by making a muscle and slapping his hand on top of it.

You laugh. "Nice! Hey, has Shikamaru been acting weird lately? He all of a sudden snapped at me this morning.

Naruto puts on his thinking face and grabs his chin. "Hm… doesn't he usually do that to you anyway?"

You feel sweat prickle the back of your head as you respond, "No! Well, yes, but this time all I stated was that we weren't friends when he said we were."

He shrugs and crosses his arms. "Well, all he does is complain about you some times. Always, 'Kasumi is so annoying,' or, 'damn, that Kasumi, I can't get any sleep anymore.' It seems he's always got something to say about you."

You feel your face heat up again and you chastise yourself for getting warm over a lazy ninja like him. On the outside, you fake a reaction you hope is you-like. "Grr… That Shikamaru! Well, see you later, Naruto." You turn and start to jog away from him.

"Same to you, Kasumi!" Naruto says, waving goodbye.

When you're sure you're out of Naruto's sight, you let your face heat up again. "He talks about me, too? Even though they're not good things, why do I feel like this?" Your heart thuds so loud, you feel like everyone around you can hear it. You run faster and faster, and your heart beats in your throat and the sound echoes in your ears.

You run, you run and run and run. You run fast as your legs can carry you without chakra, because it'd be pointless to use it now. "What's wrong with me? I'm shaking… I'm shaking I'm shaking I'm shaking…"

You end up at the grave. _The _grave. You fall to your knees in front of your late boyfriend's grave, shuttering at the cold feeling of the granite steps on your legs. 

You breathe out slowly and think. "My heart hasn't pounded this way in forever…" The loud throb of your heart comes back once again, but only once does it pound. You slowly draw your head up, as if on a string. You study the so familiar features on the gravestone staring you in the face. Silently, your lips read the almost too familiar name on the grave. The sound of your heard echoes in your ears, resonating with memories you didn't want to surface ever again.

_He squeezed your hand tightly as you both watched the sun go down. "Kasumi…"_

_ "Yes?" You asked._

_ He laughed and stroked your hand. "I just wanted to say your name. I love your name, Kasumi."_

_ You blushed and shoved him lightly. "Geez, you're making me blush like crazy!"_

_ He grabbed your other elbow and pulled you towards him. "What's bad about that?"_

_ As the sun disappeared and the sky turned to dark purple velvet, your lips joined softly, speaking all the passionate words you wanted to say._

_ Tomorrow it rained. _

_ You kept choking on your tears as you sat at his grave. Even the sky couldn't wash away your tears, or the blood that was shed just a few hours before. _

_ You clutched your heart tightly, squeezing, squeezing, squeezing so tightly, but the pain wouldn't go away. Through all the tears and snot and pain, you managed to choke out, "I… I won't… I can't love anyone as much as I loved you!"_

"Kasumi?"

You snap back to the real world and find yourself in the shadow of someone else. You slowly look up and stare straight into someone's olive green eyes.

"Are you alright?"

A scratchy voice that you hardly recognize as your own says, "Shikamaru?"

He kneels down and shakes his head. "Geez, how troublesome… I'm not the one who made you cry, am I?"

"Eh?"

Shikamaru reaches towards your face and wipes his thumb across your cheek, spreading the cold wetness of your tears on your skin and his. He holds up his thumb in front of your face to show you the tears. "You were just crying over here."

You finally wake up completely and rub your face clean of all the tears while babbling a bunch of nonsense. "Ah, Shikamaru, hi! I don't understand what I'm crying about, don't worry it's not because of you. Why would I cry because of something you said, idiot? I don't care about you that much anyway. How did you find me? Are you some sort of stalker? Ha, ha, ha, ha, stupid Shikamaru."

He grabs your thin tan wrist and pulls it away from your face, staring straight into your sparkling green eyes. "Stop that, you'll ruin your face."

Your heart beats steadily like a drum. All this time your heart was pounding harshly, violently, crazily, but amazingly, Shikamaru calmed you down.

For a second, it seemed like his face was getting closer. Closer… closer…

"Wait, wait. What is this pose? What's this? No… I can't…" you think rapidly. You swing your face to the left and shout, "Stop!"

Shikamaru stares at you, concerned. He changes his expression and tone, seeing you feel extremely awkward. "What are you talking about, idiot," he scoffs. He stands up and shoves his hands in his pockets. "Go wash your face, you look like a mess."

The silence is deafening. You close your eyes and listen to Shikamaru walk away, you're comforted by the sound of the grass sliding past his feet.

"Shikamaru, wait."

He stops and turns.

You stand up and resist the urge to rub your eyes. Standing in the shadow of the large oak tree behind the grave, you watch his face. "Shikamaru, I'm sorry!" You bow, hands stiff at your sides.

A moment passes, and you hear Shikamaru "suppress" his laugh.

"Pfft. What are you apologizing for, Kasumi? We're not friends, remember?"

You stand up and stomp over to him quickly. "That's right! We're not friends! A real friend wouldn't laugh at me! A real friend wouldn't make me feel so stupid! A real friend wouldn't be such a stupid lazy bum who can't even tell me what he's really thinking!" You raise your hand to smack him on the head, but he catches it before you can hit.

He's glaring at you now. Such strong emotions flash across his face, too fast for you to understand. He clamps his free hand down on your other shoulder and gives you a shake. He shouts back at you, "Yeah? Well here's what I'm thinking! You're a stupid girl who always rejects any help she receives from me! I worry about you every day when I see that stupid fake mask of social happiness bouncing around to each and every person! I worry about you because you think I don't hear the shouts coming from your house when our team picks you up for missions? You think I don't know where you go every Sunday? I know you come here and mourn your late boyfriend. I know you and your father fight almost every day, and you know what? I freaking love you, Kasumi! There, I said it! I couldn't help but love you, and hate you. Gah! You drive me crazy you know that?"

You stare at him, almost like a little kid stares at someone who just yelled at him. Such an innocent face, such a sad face, but you don't cry. You just smile as hot tears pour down your cheeks. "I didn't know… I'm so sorry, Shikamaru. I can't… I can't return your feeli—"

He pulls your arm so hard; you think he might rip it off. Instead, he presses his hands against your back and neck when your lips crash into his.

You remember this sweet feeling, but you don't remember it being so bitter as well. Like good dark chocolate, the kiss you share is bitter-sweet. When you pull away, you're still crying, but with open eyes.

Shikamaru scratches the back of his neck and looks away towards the clouds. His face is red as he cringes. "Ah, I think you should hit me now, right?"

You stare at him, then at your hand.

He prepares himself for a hard, painful smack when you raise your arm.

You tremble as you let go of the tension in your arm and grab his face. While he's surprised, you pull him towards you and kiss him on the lips. After about three seconds, you push him off and rub your mouth, blushing at him. "There, we're even. I hope I don't have to spell my feelings out for you, too."

His pleasantly surprised expression turns to a smirk hiding evil intentions.

You feel sweat prickle the back of your forehead as he steps towards you, his face dark.

"Oh I'm not so sure about that… I don't understand your feelings. You say I can't return your feelings then you grab my face and kiss me," You get hot at how bluntly he explains your actions. "I think I need a better explanation, Kasumi."

You tighten your lips, trying not to squirm under his uncomfortable evil gaze. You raise your hand again, and punch him across the top of his head. "Idiot Shikamaru!"

He grabs his head and groans, "Ugh, should have seen that coming."

You grab his collar and bring him barely a centimeter away from your face. Knowing he can feel the heat radiating from your face, you declare as clearly as possible, "I love you!"


End file.
